Phone never finds its way easy for me...
It really is useful and indispensable for work and life. But I just don't like it... It's not a matter of languages - my degree of hesitance is almost exactly the same when I talk in Japanese, English, French and maybe in Chinese even...!
For work, I usually try to minimize calls. But then, even I do try to avoid, I would say for a little less than 40% of my working time, I am engaged with phone calls... people call me from any locations, I do have to call people, and I need to attend/hold conference calls day & night. Maybe it's just the way it is and I really need to bear with it for work purposes, I guess.
In my personal life, I also try to minimize any calls. I don't like when people call me on my cell phone for any non-urgent matters.
I'm not sure from when people start to phone you so innocently and casually just any time. I observe people around me very much depending on their cell phone - they almost seem to be obsessed that they cannot keep away from phone for a second. Even being 2 minutes apart from the phone, they start to worry if anyone might have called you during your absence (of 2 min!). And, why do you pick up your phone anytime & anywhere? Maybe it's really related to an urgent thing, and you wouldn't know until you actually pick up your phone. But why is it that people would almost expect the counterpart to answer 24 hours a day??
Similarly I don't like an answering machine telling me that someone called me and wanted me to return a call. I think it makes no sense to leave "pls call me when you are back" type of messages without stating any objective or topic of the call, unless it's super-super urgent. Again, I feel like people expect me to answer 24 hours/7 days, that really annoys me...
To my bad... I don't even like talking to friends on the phone. When anyone calls me, I can answer and talk just normally, of course. But I never call friends from my end unless there is an absolute need for it. It really is something amazing to me when people pick up phone and call you just because they want to have a chat etc or to catch up. To me, it can only happen with lovers and family..... I do like my friends, but no call! How do I keep in touch with people? Well, I prefer seeing people in person, rather than having phone conversation
Email/letter is another better way of communication to me... as that way I can control how to proportionate my time & energy spending.
And yes, I do recall I used to want to call someone I really liked for almost no reasons. For that I used to make up 'reasons' to call him - something like... the moon is really brilliant tonight, found music that reminds of him etc... absolutely no urgent matters. So, I understand how this happens.... but such area of extra reach should be quite limited for all, shouldn't be?!
I do admit that I like when I talk to my family, and for that I do call them from my end.
That's the only occasion where I see myself quite happy dialing the numbers.
Otherwise, I call anyone solely because I have to.
So, don't think I don't like you just because I don't call you. It's just I don't like phone - that's all!
I figure... the bottom line is that I simply don't like anyone to control my time and resource. I'm now pretty much concerned that I would never get a partner who would understand my need of proper distance from certain things. I think this is one of my weak points - at the same time this is a part of my strong point that I make myself stood up without being influenced by the surrounding. I can do things that I believe I need at my own pace - again, this can be another point to make... that to guys I don't seem to need any help/support, which makes me look really like a macho woman. In reality it's not true at all! There are a lot of things that I would like someone to rely on... someone to support me... and someone to tease me!
And I know that this can change when I have someone I like and I want him to see me 24 hrs... who knows what happens
It really is useful and indispensable for work and life. But I just don't like it... It's not a matter of languages - my degree of hesitance is almost exactly the same when I talk in Japanese, English, French and maybe in Chinese even...!
For work, I usually try to minimize calls. But then, even I do try to avoid, I would say for a little less than 40% of my working time, I am engaged with phone calls... people call me from any locations, I do have to call people, and I need to attend/hold conference calls day & night. Maybe it's just the way it is and I really need to bear with it for work purposes, I guess.
In my personal life, I also try to minimize any calls. I don't like when people call me on my cell phone for any non-urgent matters.
I'm not sure from when people start to phone you so innocently and casually just any time. I observe people around me very much depending on their cell phone - they almost seem to be obsessed that they cannot keep away from phone for a second. Even being 2 minutes apart from the phone, they start to worry if anyone might have called you during your absence (of 2 min!). And, why do you pick up your phone anytime & anywhere? Maybe it's really related to an urgent thing, and you wouldn't know until you actually pick up your phone. But why is it that people would almost expect the counterpart to answer 24 hours a day??
Similarly I don't like an answering machine telling me that someone called me and wanted me to return a call. I think it makes no sense to leave "pls call me when you are back" type of messages without stating any objective or topic of the call, unless it's super-super urgent. Again, I feel like people expect me to answer 24 hours/7 days, that really annoys me...
To my bad... I don't even like talking to friends on the phone. When anyone calls me, I can answer and talk just normally, of course. But I never call friends from my end unless there is an absolute need for it. It really is something amazing to me when people pick up phone and call you just because they want to have a chat etc or to catch up. To me, it can only happen with lovers and family..... I do like my friends, but no call! How do I keep in touch with people? Well, I prefer seeing people in person, rather than having phone conversation
Email/letter is another better way of communication to me... as that way I can control how to proportionate my time & energy spending. And yes, I do recall I used to want to call someone I really liked for almost no reasons. For that I used to make up 'reasons' to call him - something like... the moon is really brilliant tonight, found music that reminds of him etc... absolutely no urgent matters. So, I understand how this happens.... but such area of extra reach should be quite limited for all, shouldn't be?!
I do admit that I like when I talk to my family, and for that I do call them from my end.
That's the only occasion where I see myself quite happy dialing the numbers.
Otherwise, I call anyone solely because I have to.
So, don't think I don't like you just because I don't call you. It's just I don't like phone - that's all!
I figure... the bottom line is that I simply don't like anyone to control my time and resource. I'm now pretty much concerned that I would never get a partner who would understand my need of proper distance from certain things. I think this is one of my weak points - at the same time this is a part of my strong point that I make myself stood up without being influenced by the surrounding. I can do things that I believe I need at my own pace - again, this can be another point to make... that to guys I don't seem to need any help/support, which makes me look really like a macho woman. In reality it's not true at all! There are a lot of things that I would like someone to rely on... someone to support me... and someone to tease me!
And I know that this can change when I have someone I like and I want him to see me 24 hrs... who knows what happens